Turkish Hospitality - an Oxymoron

Again I must apologize profusely about the lengthy delay between posts...I went for a little holiday and then got back logged in work!  Always the case isn't it?

Last week, I went with K (my house mate) to a little town called Yalova.  Yalova is about 45 minutes by ferry from İstanbul.  There's not much to recommend this town - no historical sites, no monuments, etc - but it is such a quaint and hospitable sea side community!  We went there to visit K's "auntie" (not related by blood, but here it makes no difference!).  She a few years older than me, widowed, with 3 children.  And so welcoming and kind!  By the end of the trip, I felt like family too!

And herein lies the contradiction about Turkish Hospitality - at least in my experience.

Turkish people are renowned for their hospitality and their friendliness.  They always go out of their way to make sure their guests are comfortable and well taken care of.  When you are travelling around this country, do not be surprised when the shop owner or carpet seller or guy on the street who gives you directions invites you to his home for dinner or tea!  This is typical in all parts of the country and took me a little by surprise the first couple times it happened!  As a tourist, I have had nothing but good experiences with Turkish people whether family, friends, or strangers.

However, as a foreigner who lives here, in my day to day life, I have had so many bad experiences I sometimes wonder why the heck I'm still here!

Webster's defines hospitable as "treatment, reception, disposition".  To me, hospitality includes not only how you treat guests in your home but also customers at your place of work.  It is this latter part where Turkish people are lacking. 

When I first arrived here, there was a lot of running around involved in getting a residence permit and a work visa.  I came to hate going to the Emniyet (Turkish Security Ministry).  Of course this is a government office so I knew that there would be a general lack of job interest as is the case with most government workers.  But, I was unprepared for the complete unhelpfulness of everyone who works there.  When I first arrived, my Turkish was very rusty.  I was unsure where to go (its an enormous building) and when I asked in my halting Turkish I wasn't given very helpful directions.  One man said "go here" and  upon arriving "there" I was told "no, no - go here", etc, etc.  After an hour of this, I finally arrived in the Foreigner Services Department.  This is where anyone who wants a residence, student, or work visa must come.  Generally the people wanting these types of visas are "foreigners" - ie. not from Turkey, ie. don't speak much Turkish.  There was a line up of students waiting, mostly Asian and European, all struggling to understand what was needed of them.  And of course, no one in the "foreigner" department spoke English.  When I asked for an English speaking person to help me and the other people who didn't speak Turkish the response was "You want to live here, learn the language".  Fair enough I think - but you don't need to be rude about it and you should expect that some newly arrived people haven't had the opportunity to learn anything yet.  When I mentioned this case, the response was essentially "tough sh*t".  So welcoming and helpful isn't it?  I remember calling my boyfriend as I walked out of the Emniyet telling him how much I wanted to leave this horrible place!

Another example comes from a restaurant experience with K from a couple months ago.  She was craving a kumpir (baked potato kind of dish) so we chose a restaurant based specifically on the availability of kumpir.  I should note here that most restaurant servers do not write down the orders of their customers.  They don't even repeat the order to make sure they got it the first time.  So, there are generally some mix ups.  With this knowledge in the back of our minds, our order was placed and we waited.  Finally the waitress brought our food - lo and behold, not a potato in sight...When K complained and said this dish was not what she ordered, the waitress (no joke) said "Ummm, yes it it.  I would remember if you said kumpir".  After another couple of minutes of arguing about who remembered better what was ordered, the waitress very sullenly took the plate and exchanged it for the requested kumpir.  Can you imagine this happening in Canada?? 

Finally, yesterday, I had some business to take care of at my Turkish bank.  Specifically, I had to transfer funds from Turkey to my account in Canada.  I went to the information desk of my local branch and asked if what I wanted to do was possible and if so, where would I go to do it.  The lady directed me to the regular counters so I took a number and waited in line.  When it was my turn, I repeated the same thing to the lady behind the counter who said, "I don't think we can do that" and directed me back to the same information lady who had sent me to her.  I went back there and again repeated what I needed to do.  This time she said "Oh, yeah, we don't do that here.  You need to go to your home branch in İstanbul and maybe they can help you".  When I said that I didn't quite understand what she was saying (go to İstanbul??) her response was "I know you understand me, you're just choosing not to".  Who talks to a customer like this??  I asked to speak to her manager and I was told "She can't help you either so don't bother".  I was so angry and frustrated and flabbergasted at the treatment I had just received.  Again, I called my boyfriend and went to his office to tell him what happened and that I was sick of this country and wanted to go home.  He hugged me, made me laugh, and then said we could go straight there if I wanted so he could tell her off for me.  What a sweetie!  If I didn't have to get to work, I would have taken him up on that offer!  This morning, we went together to a different branch of the same bank and explained the situation from yesterday.  The man behind the counter looked embarrassed by the actions of the other lady and offered to call their head office to make a complaint.  I took him up on his offer!  He also went out of his way to help me with my banking.  We were in and out in a matter of 20 minutes! 

I realize that bad customer service exists in every country, but here, where hospitality is revered and is in fact part of the culture and traditions of these people, it comes as quite a shock.