Kids...

Yesterday I talked a bit about my niece...it made me think about the differences in how children are viewed in each country. 

Back home - every one "oohs" and "aahhhs" over babies and makes the standard fuss when a new baby comes along.  Passers-by may stop and smile and say "What a cutie!" with a little wave to the baby - however, new mothers are generally hesitant to hand their children to complete strangers, say at the mall or on the bus or subway, to coddle and coo over.  Some new mothers are even hesitant to give their babies to family member to hold!  As toddlers, we are taught not to speak to strangers and of course, never to go anywhere with a stranger.   We are taught a healthy respect for strangers from a very young age.

However, here in Turkey things are a bit different.  Babies are handed over to random people to cuddle and play with without even a second thought.  Mothers often actually seem relieved to have a break!  Toddlers fearlessly approach strangers and strike up conversations, telling them about their families and their lives without thinking while mothers look on, smiling their approval.  The other day, I saw a grandfatherly old man offer his lap to a little girl of about 4 or 5 on the city bus.  Without even blinking the mother handed over the child.  The child proceeded to tell the grandfatherly old man her name and where she lived and where they were going that day.  I was shocked and then immediately began to wonder what child exploitation rates were like here - would there be a difference if children were treated this differently by strangers?  I couldn't really find too much information about this because the government here really likes to keep negative stats under wraps and pretend that nothing is wrong (can we say denial??) but I did find this one article from 2008:

http://www.todayszaman.com/newsDetail_getNewsById.action?load=detay&link=144149

You can contrast that with this study done by the Canadian government from 2010 dealing with numbers from 2008:

http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85f0033m/2010023/part-partie1-eng.htm

Some other observations about children here (please note that these are only my observations and I don't think they reflect the norm for children here - I just get lucky and see all the bad examples!):

-children are spoiled and unruly here which makes me overwhelmingly grateful I do not have to teach them - they have no regard for rules or authority
-parents generally seem to let their children run wild and do as they please and then shrug their shoulders in defeat when they can't control them in public
-children are raised mostly by their mothers or grandmothers with little or no input from the fathers (although my cousin here is a shining example of how some paternal attention can make a child much more well-behaved and rounded!)
-babies are often seen in their mothers laps in the front seat of the car - car seats are not mandatory
-toddlers can be seen standing on or lying across the back seat of the car - seat belts are also not mandatory and some cars don't even have them in the back!
-children are used to sell kleenex packets and flowers on the streets typically during the evening hours (8 to 11pm) to help make some extra income for the family instead of being at home doing homework and sleeping
-it is not unusual to see parents with their children at restaurants at midnight during weekdays
-in a country where education is considered essential, many children, especially girl children, are not required to stay in school until age 16 - often in the smaller Eastern towns boys leave school at age 10 to start working and girls don't even go to school so they can stay home and learn home-making skills
-there does not seem to be such a thing as a single father here (my cousin is the only one I know) - although there are many single mothers (divorced or widowed) - unmarried single mothers are ostracized and generally have no way to support themselves and their children
-abortion abounds here but in secret, kind of like a black market deal